I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
