No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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