Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
