Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
