Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
