So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
