Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
