Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
