It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
