It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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