you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize