i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
