I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you didnt know i had herpes?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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