sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
