i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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