so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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