hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
