dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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