To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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