Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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