Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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