Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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