But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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