Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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