The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
