I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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