Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
