i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
