I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
