Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
