Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
