Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
