I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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