i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Randomize
