We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize