You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
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