just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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