Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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