i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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