I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
