also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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