I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
