Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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