You can't motorboat a personality
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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