I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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