Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
