it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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