last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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