This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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