They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
