She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize