I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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