someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
