it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
