she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize