all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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