If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
