my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's official drugs can't kill me
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
