i jhust puked up my retainher.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
