I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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