Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
